Fear can hold you prisoner: Hope will set you free

I have lived with MS for so long now. Its becoming harder to remember the times before it metaphorically kicked my front door in and became an intangible part of life. Don’t get me wrong I’m no lover of it and I’ll never let it break me. A lifetime battling it has left me hardened, resolute and dug in for whatever it might throw at me. Since diagnosis nearly 25 years ago there have been few rays of light with lasting treatments or cures to beat it. However, I’ve maintained a strong defence mentally and give as good as I get physically and at times have ridden my luck. The damage to my nerves are probably irreparable, but I’ve never been one to give in. Although I still expect to be carried from the field on my shield one day, I haven’t quite given up hope, that the cavalry might actually might turn up one day. I’ve recently been thinking of that Tim Robbins line in The Shawshank redemption – ‘Fear can hold you prisoner; hope will set you free’. It’s always been close to my heart – it’s got real depth. My mind was triggered to it by recent events on the MS front. In many ways living with it and severe disability is a kin to a life sentence with little hope of getting out alive, but recent developments in treatments and a potential cure could be bringing us finally some light at the end of the tunnel. The long course of this fight has made me somewhat cynical. Over the years several false dawns and lack of assistance for people living with MS, has radicalised me like many others I suspect. I often felt the MS Society could do more to raise awareness and challenge Government policy more directly on issues such as medical cannabis and the deprivation faced by many with the disease from government cuts. I also felt representation and funding was split between too many charities, diluting the message those of us on the coal face wanted to hear. In recent years though things have started to change and a more united front and acceptance of each others core messages has started to pay dividends. MS awareness has been raised and with it exciting medical therapies offering real hope. On the back of progress with stem cell treatments the recent news that the diabetic drug Metformin could actually stop the disease and rebuild the damaged myelin sheaf is truly heart warming and gives real belief that we might just get out the other side. The news is being backed by a big advertising campaign by the MS Society and for once everyone appears to be in this together, determined to make the breakthrough. I’m excited by where this will develop and how it might benefit me in my lifetime and whether this is the beginning of the end of this bastard of a disease. I was joking with my brother I’d run the marathon naked if I got my legs back – that might be wishing thinking, but joking aside this one might just have legs and could be blowing that bugle that hundreds of thousands of people have been waiting to hear.